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Stephen: I have to do the vocals for Medieval Bush. Friends: Why? Stephen: Cause I said 1570's muff instead of 1470's muff and the medieval period ended at the beginning of the 16th century. Friends: So thats 1500's. Wait! So how do you know this? Stephen: Cause I used to be a teacher. Friends: (Laugh)You used to be a teacher? Stephen: Yes. Friends: Professor? Stephen: No, I taught elementary school and I got fired because I had an unorthodox way of teaching which is I would bring in my guitar and... I never told you this? Friends: No! Stephen: I would bring in my guitar and I would sing the lessons to the children. Friends: Of course you did. Stephen: I am dead serious. Friends: Yes. Stephen: I am. Alright, alright hold on I'll give you one of the... Let me remember. Alright here's one I remember, okay? This is Ben Franklin. Am C 2x Am C Ben Franklin went out one night, Am C Tied a key to the end of a kite, Am C Electricity struck so bright, Dm Am (-> not sure about this one) Write it down muthafuckas Friends: You called the kids motherfuckers? Stephen: Some of them were motherfuckers, yes. Friends: Science Stephen: Ummm... okay! Am C Issac Newton sat under a tree, Am C An apple hit him in the head so he, Am C Said holy shit that's gravity, Dm Am Write it down muthafuckas Stephen: I have a million of these. Friends: Then why don't you do the pilgrims? Stephen: Okay... hey now and... [ Tab from: http://www.guitaretab.com/s/stephen-lynch/187591.html ] Am C Pilgrims raced against the clock, Am C Looking for a place to dock, Am C They said fuck it here's Plymouth Rock, Dm Am Write it down muthafuckas. Friends: I don't like the fact that you are implying that the pilgrims were lazy. Stephen: I'm not implying anything. Friend: Wright Brothers. Oooh that's a good one. Stephen: Uh... Am C A dude named Orville Wright, Am C Told his bro lets invent flight, Am C So Wilbur said "ight", Dm Am Write it down muthafuckas Stephen: Yes, yes Wilbur said "ight" Friend: Wilbur said "ight"? Stephen: In my story he did. Friend: Wilbur was street in your story? Stephen: That's right. Friend: Word. Stephen: See, you can't stump me Friend: Slavery? Stephen: Uh there is nothing funny about slavery... well... Am C Abe Lincoln lead the nation, Am C Freed slaves form the plantation, Am C And made some mothafuckin' proclamation, Dm Am Write it down ananem-ops. Friend: Gandhi! Stephen: Uh... I did not have a Ghandi one. Uh... Alright hold on, hold on, hold on. Gandhi... Uh... alright. (Slowly) Am C Gandhi is what you said, Am C An Indian with a bald head, Am C And he was a bit under fed, Dm Am Write is down muthafuckas! Stephen: See?! Yeah! Fired from that job! Friend: Your a genius. -------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------- I think this is correct. If you don't think it sounds right, by all means correct me. :-) Enjoy the song! |