Jon Lajoie - Birthday Song chords

Intro D

          D
It's your birthday today,

what does that mean? I guess I'll try to explain,
                G
that twenty-one years ago on this day,
           A                                          D     
it was the first time your parents saw your beautiful face,

    D
and nine months before that magical day,

your dad probably took your mom out on a date,
              G
and they were having a good time,
                      D
they were dancing and drinking wine,

         D
and when they got home they were horny as hell,

and your dad threw your mom down on the bed,
      G
and he tore her panties off,
                  D
and his penis was hard as a rock,

              D
and then your mom really wanted to give your dad head,
[ Tab from: http://www.guitaretab.com/j/jon-lajoie/345626.html ]
but your dad also wanted to give your mom head,
        G
so they formed a sixty-nine,
                     D
and your mom came at least three times,

              D
and then your dad was so excited to get inside your mom,

that he forgot to put a condom on,
            G
and when he realized his mistake,
         A                       D
he had ejaculated and it was too late,

              G       A
and then your mom got pregnant,
         Bm          D
and your dad started crying,
               G             A
he wanted your mom to get an abortion,
         Bm           D
but your mom wanted a child,
    G                 A
and nine months later you were born,
    G                      A               D
and five months later your parents got a divorce